


I Will MURDER You

by HMSquared



Series: Twilight [1]
Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Anger, F-bombs, Jealousy, Knocking things over, Playing Golf with Friends, Rage, Septiplier is briefly mentioned, Swearing, Tears, generous amounts of swearing, lots and lots of crying, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 02:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: Wade is such a prick, Mark loves it, and Jack is two seconds away from losing his mind.





	I Will MURDER You

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: there is one instance of the c-word in this story, which I was very reluctant about using. Racist and homophobic slurs are not acceptable in any way, and "cunt" is where I draw the line.
> 
> You'll also notice that there's a lot more swearing than usual in general. I am not a swearer in real life and don't like using curse words that often in my stories (as you've probably been able to tell), but Jack was so angry in this one, it would be OOC for him to not swear. Also, it scares me how fun it was to write his ragey bits.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Based on [this](https://youtu.be/xHMpqdGsokQ?t=742) video.

When the hole started, all Jack had on his mind was that they were cones. He hated the shapes in  _Golf With Friends_ , and now it was their third hole playing as them. To make matters worse, he was in dead last...but that could hopefully be improved upon.

Everything started out simple enough. Jack figured out where the hole was after skipping across the water, and Mark managed to get ahead of him. Bob and Wade were having their own little duet, and though the balls were annoying, it wasn't the end of the world.

 

Jack looked up at the hole; Mark had been the first one in, followed by Bob. He and Wade were the only ones left, and the older man was slightly ahead of him. Not knowing what he would say next changed everything, he whispered,

"Please don't hit me, Wade." It was quiet, but not quiet enough. His face not even changing, Wade reared back and sent his cone crashing into Jack's, before swiftly climbing up the hill into the hole.

Mark and Bob burst out laughing (the former complimenting Wade for being a prick), but Jack's mouth fell open in shock. He had no idea what to say, only that fire was rising in his stomach and he was about to lose it. Backing away from the mic, he muttered,

"I will MURDER you." It wasn't serious, of course, but Jack didn't want his friends to know he was angry. They had no idea how much he had suffered, jealous beyond relief. Scooting back to his original position, he finished the hole two strokes later. As usual, the three peens applauded.

 

They finished the map (Bob won, thankfully, or else Jack might have really strangled Wade) and moved on to a new map. Jack remained silent the whole time, occasionally chewing on his tongue to prevent himself from screaming. His cap was sitting under the table, forgotten and abandoned for the rest of time.

Because that's how he is, Mark was the first to comment on Jack's muteness. As they attempted to maneuver their egg-shaped balls, he joked,

"I guess Wade really did you in, huh, Jack?" Wincing to prevent himself from laughing, Jack said nothing as Bob added,

"Yeah, bet you'll be sore tomorrow!" Wade stifled a chuckle, Mark cackling like an idiot, but no response came from the Irishman. Their jokes were dumb, yes, but not worthy of his attention. They simply had to keep going.

 

Mark and Bob made silent jokes for the rest of the hole (calling Jack a mute would be extremely insulting, and they knew to draw the line) with occasional input from Wade. Jack listened to every single one of their puns, and by the time they were on the final hole, two things had happened: the jokes were more awkward than funny, and Jack no longer had to prevent himself from laughing.

"I'm worried about him," Mark whispered, Wade nodding in agreement.

"Jack, if you haven't muted us, I'm sorry." Jack sat in silence, considering a response but eventually deciding against it. Bob asked,

"Are you sure we should do the final hole? He does seem mad." This was another reason he secretly hated them; talking about someone as if they weren't there. Mark stupidly replied,

"Yeah, it'll be fine. He'll get over it, won't you, Jack?" No, Jack wouldn't. When it came to this situation, he had the memory of an elephant.

 

They were pucks on the final hole, which didn't help in the slightest. Unsurprisingly, Mark, Bob, and Wade eased up slightly, allowing Jack to win the hole. He didn't win the game, of course (they weren't that kind of people), but it was still something. Sitting in the lobby, Bob said,

"Jack, are you there?" If Jack were in a better mood, he would have smirked. Wade whispered,

"Jack? Please say something?" The three peens sat in worried silence and then, of course, Bob had to ruin the moment.

"I think he's dead." Wade stifled a chuckle for the second time that game and, to Jack's anger but not his surprise, Mark laughed,

"Yeah, you're right, Bob. Guess this means Septiplier can't happen now." It wasn't the fact that he had brought up the ship, nor the fact he hadn't tried to help, but the lack of interest in his voice that finally, finally set Jack off.

"Shut up, cunt," he growled. For once, Bob and Wade didn't react sarcastically to the fact that Jack had finally spoken. He had sworn all game (a joke had been made about it earlier), but in all their videos he had never called Mark the c-word. Leaning closer to the mic, Mark whispered nervously,

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Jackieboy."

"I wasn't dead, you idiot." Jack's voice was cold, his tone serious. "I've been right here, the whole time, listening to your jokes. Because that's all these videos are to you, _right_? Just one big, happy, FUCKING JOKE!" He was so loud Wade temporarily pulled his headphones off, Bob sliding back in fright. Mark had begun to shake, eyes wide in terror. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jack cut him off.

"What, Mark? What? Tell me, I'm listening. I know, I know, it's hard to believe considering all the talking I do." Jack scoffed sickly, scaring Mark even more. "But at least I'm not the only one. In fact, you could say I'm the quietest of the group. Bob swears enough to fill an innuendo book, Wade's a fucking twerp, and you, oh sweet Mark, are a cowardly bitch!" His voice cracked, stinging even more, and Mark closed his eyes in pain. Bob whispered,

"Jack, please stop!" Jack chuckled sharply, then laughed,

"Thank you for the perfectly timed example, Bob. Now fuck off." Off in the corner, Wade was trying to stifle a laugh at the innuendo comment but corpsed. Jack shouted, "Thanks, Wade, once again, for not being able to take me seriously!" His right hand swung out and hit the mic, sending it crashing to the floor. Mark winced, the mic was picked up, and he thought about what to say. A smart-ass comment was rising in him and before he could stop himself, it came out.

"Guess this means you don't love me, then?" Jack was in tears and he whispered, staring at his computer screen,

"I never loved you, Mark." It wasn't a joke, it wasn't even funny, and both Bob and Wade logged off to give them space. Now it was just Jack and Mark, two men speaking over audio with no way to see each other's faces. Shaking his head, fists pressing into his cheek, Jack stood up. Turning to the bookshelf, he swiped at the books, sending them to the floor.

All Mark could do was sit back and listen as Jack continued to knock items over, screaming in anger and sadness. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he listened to his friend scream, not being able to say a word. After a while, things stopped falling but the pained screaming didn't, getting louder and louder until he was forced to pull off his headphones. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a hoarse Jack returned to his chair.

"Well, I guess that's it for this video." Mark swallowed, putting his headphones on. He didn't want to log off, because he knew exactly what would happen if he did. This was the last chance they had to speak, and it couldn't be wasted.

"Jack..." The Irishman shook his head.

"Shut up, Mark." Fingers shaking in fright and regret, Mark left the lobby, cutting off the audio and leaving them both all alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment!


End file.
